This show always seems to open with a confession of how teary everyone got at the last elimination. I can’t decide whether this is humanizing and vulnerable, or annoying and drama. Oh wait. It’s CNTM. There’s only ever annoying and drama.
Oh goody, they’re going to have to talk again. That’s bound to make them more likeable and modelesque. They’re taken to the MTV Canada studio where they’re introduced to the only people who are more annoying than these girls themselves: Dan and Jessi of The After Show. Ugh. They offer classy tips like “always remember what it is that you’re promoting” – yes, I understand the importance of that, but surely there’s a less tacky way to put it. Ew. And stop with the finger quotes, Dan.
So now the girls have to do fake interviews about different imaginary SCENARIOS they have been INVOLVED IN . (Finger quotes all Dan’s, of course.) He jumps right into it, enjoying far too much is opportunity to pretend that Maryam is hiding a sex tape. Maryam is adorably baffled, because she didn’t understand that the questions are fake, so Dan and Jessi fall all over themselves explaining that they just made the sex tape up. Canadians are so nice, you guys! This “challenge” (fingerquotes mine this time) is stupid.
Ugh, it’s Nikita’s turn. I’m so sick of her face and her Natasha Badanov hair, but who will I hate on if she’s sent home? But she really does come across as the worst type of asshole: the kind who takes pride in their colossal assholery. Which is why she does really well in this challenge. She owns who she is, terrible as that person is.
Winnipeg Meagan does some cute banter with Dan about how they have the same glasses, and then admits to a massive cocaine problem. If only these interviews were true.
Boring, boring, boring…Ooooh, Rebekkah might be gay. Whether or not she’s just playing along with the challenge, I bet this opens up a whole new ugly can of premium Alberta brand homophobia. Hm, so far only a PC comment from the prairie girl. At this point I will actually be disappointed if Nikita doesn’t say something that makes my blood boil.
Jeannie Beker shows up to take the girls to Toronto Fashion Week to practice their “newfound” “interview” “skills”. Even at Fashion Week this show isn’t featuring any Canadian designers. Suck. The girls are surprisingly good in their interviews with some comedian and that gossip chick from eTalk. A couple of airheaded answers from Heather (she got trapped by “why is it important for models to be skinny?”) and some language barrier problems for Maryam aside, they were all unexpectedly articulate and likeable. Even Nikita. Who wins a $4000 shopping spree at Holt Renfrew. Fuck.
They finally get home, and belatedly find a goodbye note from Tara (weird that they’d put that this late in the episode), and the Meagan confesses all her insecurities, including weird ailments like her scratched eyeball (please, sweetie, PLEASE stop using the “douching”) and how she’s had four ribs removed. This is bookended, of course, by whimpers that she’s just a low-rent version of Heather. Don’t worry, Meagan. At least animals other than dogs can hear you when you talk.
And now Meagan has to get up early (Nikita passive-aggressively tells her to be quiet when she gets up) to get her braces off. This has Ugly Duckling Edit written all over it.
Photoshoot! They have to sell a phone or something, and Yasmin is there to pose for the first picture and make everyone else look bad. They get paired up for the shot, with pairings designed for maximum dramas: Nikita/Rebekkah and Heather/Meagan. Why isn’t this episode over yet?
I hope Maryam’s not going home today, but I’m afraid she is. But she really knocks all the other girls out of the park for sheer gorgeousness. Especially with the hair and makeup they gave her for this shoot.
Boring photo shoot times. Meanwhile, Nikita is at Holt Renfrew on her shopping spree and says the first charming thing she has said all cycle: “These shoes cost as much as my first vehicle.” Of course, this is immediately negated by more assholery: “The chicks I hate have already gone home…except for the…other one.”
Fuck, man. I can see how Rebekkah could get on people’s nerves, but for the girls more or less ostracize her and then turn around all condescending with “Are you okay? Are you okay?” is so fucking cruel and disingenuous. I know exactly how Rebekkah feels: when I was in high school, I did a summer drama program, and there were only 8 girls in the class and one of them was Nikita, only worse (and bore no resemblance whatsoever to a model). I was her Rebekkah. Fortuntely for me, there were plenty of other people around in other classes, so I had other friends and I could avoid the drama, somewhat, but it still sucked. Rebekkah can’t get away until she’s kicked off the show or wins it. Poor kid. So, frankly, Nikita makes ME want to vomit.
Panel time. I think the judges sold Rebekkah out – no way is that her best photo from the shoot. And Meagan got the ultimate Ugly Duckling Edit – her photo is amazing and she upstages Heather for the first time.
Rebekkah goes home. She looks more relieved than upset, and she says the wisest thing I’ve ever heard on Top Model: “I’m only 18. I still need to figure out who I am.” I’m relieved for her, frankly.
